I'm going through NBA withdrawal

Dear David Stern:

If you're going to finally stage a compelling NBA postseason, and thereby reel in basketball fans like this author, please do not force us to go cold turkey for nearly a week. I'm having a serious case of Basketball Jones.

The GF is out for the night with her friends. They went out to see the "Sex and the City" movie. I was invited but... gee so freekin tempting but... I just had to say NO to that. I wouldn't reschedule a root canal to see that movie. As James Pinkerton of the Fox News Channel said on the show Media Watch "I don't know any straight guy who has any interest at all in seeing that movie." (The GF on the other hand is what you'd call a Sex and the City "Fangirl". I asked her if she and her friends were going to dress up like the characters. She said "No", because her sister -- who lives in New York -- told her that would be "dumb". At which point I had to admit, "Uh, I was actually kidding.")

Anyway, the point is, I have control of the remote tonight (which readers of this blog will know is a constant struggle for me worthy of Colonel Kurtz from Apocylapse Now). But, having won the struggle by default, I realize that for the first time in weeks... there's no NBA hoops on!

In a cold panic, I search and search for anything... an old Chicago Bulls NBA Finals video that ESPN usually runs on a daily basis... some Hardwood Classic from yesteryear on the NBA channel... something NBA on ESPN Classic... nothing!!!

What's worse, I turned on NBAtv and got the WNBA. You mean they haven't killed that lame experiment yet!! Okay, I'll wait it out. They must have something coming up. I surf forward. ITS ALL INTERNATIONAL BASKETBALL!!! NO!!!!!

If I want to watch marshmallow softness and artful flopping, I'll watch the English Premier League. I can't take this, Stern! Maybe I need to call an audible and go get some beers.

Footnote: I finally settled on the Cartoon Network's Futurama marathon instead. Tomorrow I begin my NBA Finals preview by the numbers, with a mixture of posts analyzing where my Milwaukee Bucks go from here.